


Uh Oh, Feelings...

by CaraIsTrash



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Crack and Angst, Does anyone read the tags?, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gen, He's only in this for like two seconds, Holy crap this has over 200 kudos who are you people and why did you like this fic?, How Do I Tag, Humor, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I am disappointed in us, I feel like this is just a shitpost with feelings now, I love Logan and Patton can you tell?, I'm having a whole conversation yet I dunno if anyone is going to read it, Logan Angst, Logan's Vocab Cards, Lots of vines and memes, Memes, Minor Angst, More angst than I anticipated I'm sorry, My First Work in This Fandom, Okay it's well and truly crack now, Patton Angst, Platonic Relationship, Started writing this at 2 am, Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Tell me if you want any tags added, Tell me in the comments if you do, There is a severe lack of meme fics in this fandom, Vines, Virgil and Logan communicate through meme, Wow i didn't realise how short this fic really is, but if you want you can put on your shipping goggles, but in those two seconds he's not being totally unreasonable, does this count as crack?, i think, logicality - Freeform, what have I done?, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-02-04 11:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18603850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaraIsTrash/pseuds/CaraIsTrash
Summary: There was no word or phrase, but a picture. A meme to be precise. There was an image of a cat being 'devoured' by a shark shaped toy, the feline's face in obvious distress as it tried to get away from the pointy-toothed fish. Above it was the caption, 'When stress starts to consume you.'"Is this..?" Patton stared, dumbfounded. "A meme?"~°◊°~°◊°~°◊°~°◊°~The five times Logan expressed his feelings using memes and the one time Patton did.





	1. The Cat Meme

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my very first work in the Sanders Sides fandom! I have an eternal love for Patton and Logan's friendship (and relationship in all forms really) so I decided to write my own little story about it. I'd also like to quickly thank RookieReporterZ for editing my work, she's amazing and you guys should check her out if you like Harry Potter or Marvel.

The first time it happened, Patton thought it would be a one time thing.

It was a stressful time in the mind palace. Thomas was behind schedule on his videos and instead of spending the day catching up, he had a massive family get together. He obviously couldn't bail ("Deceit, that's called being a bad son!" "It's called taking care of yourssssself."), so he had to rearrange his entire schedule and work overtime to get it all done. That also meant Logan and Virgil were very busy kiddos. 

"So when I give them my love and attention they hiss at me, but when you do it it's totally okay?" Roman said, draping himself over the couch.

What the embodiment of creativity called 'love and attention' Virgil would call 'a huge-ass dragon head on the fucking counter, Roman'. Said 'gift' the prince had brought back from his room hadn't been very well received.

"Well," Patton picked his words carefully, "I think it's just different strokes for different folks, kiddo. Maybe they'll appreciate your presents when they're not so stressed."

Roman harrumphed but didn't argue. 

"Speaking of stressed," Patton walked passed Roman to the kitchen table where Logan was slouched over a mountain of work. His glasses were askew on his head, getting about as much use as the stone cold mug of tea he hadn't even touched. His eye twitched occasionally as he wrote, as if he was one broken pencil tip away from shoving the paperwork into Roman's hands and dooming them all. 

Virgil was somewhere in the kitchen too, but Patton had the suspicion he was hiding in a cupboard.

"Hey Logan," Patton said gently, placing down another mug of tea and clearing the other, "how's the work coming along?"

Logan looked up at Patton, his hair a mess, glasses falling off his face and shirt more wrinkled than a chip packet.

"Oh," Patton said.

Logan went back to his work.

"Well," Patton said, trying to salvage the situation, "I know right now things are pretty tough on you, but we've done this before and we can do it again!"

Logan sighed, "That's precisely the point Patton. We've done this so many times before I often wonder why I even bother trying at all."

"Don't say that!" Patton said.

"We've done this so many times before I often wonder why I even bother trying at all."

"This isn’t Simon says, Logan."

There was a loud crash from somewhere in the house followed by Roman's brief apologies. Patton thought that if Logan sighed any harder he'd eject his soul from his body.

"Well, I know the work is getting to you," he said, sitting down next to his fellow side, "but I hope you're doing okay?"

Logan paused, his pencil hovering over his page like a judge's gavel. For a moment, Patton wondered if he was going to throw it at him for asking such a stupid question. However, Patton was pleasantly surprised when instead Logan hastily ripped out his vocab cards and started sifting through. The moral side wondered what he was going to pull out.

Logan suddenly found his card, shoving it in front of Patton with a deadpan look.

For a moment Patton only stared.

There was no word or phrase, but a picture. A meme to be precise. There was an image of a cat being 'devoured' by a shark shaped toy, the feline's face in obvious distress as it tried to get away from the pointy-toothed fish. Above it was the caption, 'When stress starts to consume you.'

"Is this..?" Patton stared, dumbfounded. "A meme?"

Logan nodded, looking somewhat relieved by... sharing his feelings? Well, whatever worked would work and Patton would just be happy that Logan actually confessed to feeling the pressure for once. Normally it would be all, 'icky human emotion' (which definitely didn't hurt Patton's feelings as the embodiment of emotion) so that was a step in the right direction.

A weird direction, but the right one.


	2. The Food Meme

It was with fleeting focus that Patton stared at the ceiling of his room. The mattress beneath him was trying in vain to swallow him whole and drag him into sleep’s waiting arms, but it was a futile effort. Even when he closed his eyes and counted sheep, he found himself going back to the photo albums on his bedside table or the trophies littering the floor. He cradled the nostalgic items like one would handle a butterfly’s wing, each glittering object another memory to get lost in.

His eyes found the old alarm clock from Thomas’s childhood, hands poised and ready at one o’clock in the morning.

There was a subtle layer of pretence that had enveloped the realms of Thomas’ mind. Each side pretended to be sleeping and each side pretended to think the others were too. In truth, they were all wide awake as Thomas drowned his sorrows in The Office Bloopers. 

Patton knew Virgil would be pacing his room and working himself to the bone to come up with a novel of reasons Thomas practically destroyed his career. Roman would be sitting at his vanity and scowling at the ugly bashing of purple bruises on his skin, cursing the damage done to himself as Thomas’s ego and self confidence. Logan would be pouring himself over his books and coming up with a winning debate to settle down Virgil, ease up Roman’s hurt and simultaneously assure Thomas that it wasn’t the end of the world that he’d embarrassed himself on stage. And Patton…

Well, Patton was stacking up Thomas’ old kids theatre certificates and sorting them into a blue folder covered in dog stickers.

He felt so guilty. His fellow sides were going through such a rough week and all he did was reorganise his room. It was pretty pathetic of him, when he thought about it. He should have been like Logan, staying up until odd hours of the morning just to help his fellow sides find ease. He should have been like Roman, trying hard to push through the bumps in the road to help Thomas in the long run. He should have been like Virgil, who worried so much about their and Thomas’ future that he ran himself into the ground trying to stop Thomas from making the same mistakes again.

But no, he was in his room feeling sorry for himself as he dusted a trophy that had turned grimy with age.

He was starting to understand why Logan hated emotions so much.

Things had been so much better back when Thomas wasn’t famous. When all he had to worry about was his next performance or his next class. He remembered back then that although his mistakes still felt bad, there was no real standard to live up to. He was Thomas. Average Thomas Sanders who no one expected to be perfect all the time. If Patton could live forever in the memories bouncing off the gold of the medals, he would. He would stay up in his room where the air smelled of childhood Christmas, the walls were decorated with old art and the cabinets were filled with past success. 

He would stay where things were certain. Where they had achieved great things and life was amazing. Where Thomas actually had any real accomplishments and-

No, that wasn’t right. 

Not right at all.

He… he needed to leave.

Now.

Patton glided down the halls like a ghost, feet barely touching the carpeted floor. It was like stalking around an abandoned ship wreck. Only the noise of the night greeted his ears and it was like he was the only person in the world.

He wasn’t surprised. He had doubted anyone would be milling about. Unlike him, the others would probably feel safer in the security of their own rooms instead of trapped. 

He had thought that with absolute certainty until he spotted Logan in the kitchen... cooking something?

"Logan?" Patton said, rubbing his eyes under his glasses just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Logan turned at the mention of his name, looking as tired as he felt, decked out in his unicorn onesie.

"What're you doing there?" Patton asked cautiously.

Logan looked at his pot of boiling water as if he only just realised it was there.

"I'm making spaghetti to forgetti our regretti."

Patton blinked a few times before helping Logan pour the pasta into the water.

He was in for a long night.


	3. The Wholesome Meme

"What are these?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the small package in his hands. A small smile tugged up at the ends of his lips as he watched Patton hand out one to every other side present.

"It's not Christmas yet Padre," Roman eagerly fiddled with the little box, card discarded on the seat next to him, “why the presents?”

"Roman is correct, there is no special event scheduled for today, otherwise I would know."

"Well, I know this week has been pretty tough on everyone," Patton said, an ever present smile on his face, "so I thought it might help cheer you up to get a gift."

"Wow Patton," Virgil gently opened his card in slight disbelief, "that's so... dorky."

"Virgil," Roman lightly scolded.

"I was just teasing," Virgil said. "This is great Patton."

"They're wonderful my friend," Roman assured him. He seemed very happy with his mini dragon-witch action figure.

"Well I'm glad you think so!" Patton said, mood immediately lifted with the knowledge that his gifts were well received. "You guys have done so much work these past few days that I just wanted to get you something for your effort. I know it’s not much, not anything really, compared to what you’ve all done. I wish I could help more and had more to give, but..."

"Patton, your best is always enough," Virgil said. "There's nothing else we could want more than what you already give."

"Exactly," Roman chimed in.

Gratitude spread through Patton like a rich, warm chocolate running through his veins. It always felt like winning the lottery whenever his friends said such kind things.

"You've been awful quiet there Logan, is something wrong?"

Logan lifted his head from gazing softly at the card, opened his mouth, then shut it again before sifting through his vocab cards. Eventually he came across one and shoved it into Patton's hand in an embarrassed fashion before promptly exiting the room with his gift, a steady red gathering on his cheeks.

"What's up with Microsoft Nerd?" Roman asked.

Patton just shook his head fondly at the card in his hand with a large smile on his face. It was another picture. Another meme. It was taken on the side of the road, a man running in the same direction that a big green sign was pointing. Patton was pretty sure he'd seen the image before, but the text on the sign read something different. 'Appreciating all the love and support you give us as someone who genuinely wants us to be happy and healthy like the amazing and loving person you are,' it read. Patton gathered that Logan meant the man in the picture to represent him and the sign in which he was running towards to be his thoughts.

Patton held back the rising emotion that was trying to wash over him at the touching meme.

Logan really appreciated him, and that meant more to him than words could express.


	4. The Spongebob Meme

"Uh, Logan?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you building a model forest out of books?"

Logan shoved a flash card into his hands and went back to his scarily accurate tree.

'When you recognise a new emotional problem you have to deal with but you’re too lazy to sort it out,’ followed by a picture of Spongebob squinting tiredly into the distance.

“Well... if you ever need some help, emotional problems are my thing!” Patton offered.

They were supposed to be his thing, really. Mostly though, he dealt with questions of right and wrong or things pertaining to Thomas’ identity.

“I don’t think I have enough memes to explain,” Logan muttered.

“Well, if you ever do, feel free to talk to me,” Patton said. “I’m always here...”

Logan gave him a dismissive nod.

Patton tried not to look let down and reminded himself that Logan was trying. 

He left logic to his peace and books to roam the halls. The disappointment still stung and there were countless voices in the background of his mind telling him he wasn’t doing enough. Was he supposed to push harder? Maybe he was pushing too much. Logan was complicated, as any other person was, yet sometimes Patton wished people were more simple. That he could just look at them and know immediately what to do to make their life better. That he didn't have to play guessing games that he lost more often than not.

“Hey Pat,” Virgil snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention.

“Hmm?” Patton said, finally noticing Virgil slouching in the hallway. “Hey there kiddo, how’re you doing? Thomas is having quite the week, I hope you aren’t overworking yourself.”

“Nah, decided to give him a break today since we’re on schedule, at home and Logan may or may not have convinced me our life is not ruined,” Virgil said. “How are... uh... how are you doing?”

“Oh, little old me?” Patton chuckled. “I’m doing great!”

Virgil squinted suspiciously at him.

“I mean, it could be better, but if you focus on the bad you’ll never see the good!” Patton then fished in his pocket before taking out a coin. “I also found a quarter in the washing machine!”

Virgil put his hands deep into his hoodie pockets, “You’re not just saying that are you?”

"No, really, look," Patton placed the coin in Virgil's hand, "that's a real quarter!"

Virgil gave him a deadpan look.

Well, maybe he was playing it up a little, but he meant what he’d said about thinking positive. Patton was in a less than ideal mood now, but he wouldn’t be forever.

“Of course not kiddo,” Patton said, “I would tell you guys if something was really wrong.”

Patton wasn't super sure how true that statement was, but he wanted it to be.

“It’s truly shocking that I don’t believe you,” Virgil said, unimpressed. “But if you say you’re alright...”

“Maybe you should check on Logan instead of wasting your time on me,” Patton said. “You two seem to have a similar... communication style.”

“Memes?”

“Memes.”

“I’m on it,” Virgil saluted him. “Roman’s watching Cinderella in the living room if you wanna join him. I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t call me Later, call me Dad.”

“If it were anyone else making that god-awful pun I would’ve decked them.”

“I’m glad to be me then!”

Was he really though?


	5. The Crisis Meme

“Logic is on my side this time,” Deceit said, eyes narrowing at Virgil. “Thomas can’t keep putting others before himself with reckless abandon. It isn’t helping him.”

“No,” Virgil said, his eyes burning with hatred, “he’s on my side. We can’t listen to you or any of your friends.”

“Tell him Logan,” Deceit turned to the glasses wearing side, “it’s only logical.”

“Guys,” Patton tried to get a word in but was quickly drowned out by the two warring sides that were Virgil and Deceit. 

“Tell him.”

“Logan doesn’t need to say shit, Deceit.”

“Wow, such a dirty mouth for someone trying to get a clean slate.”

And to think this all started out like any other day.

“Logan-“

“Logic-“

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now,” Logan crossed his arms and looked to Virgil and Deceit with equally stone cold gazes. “If you’re just going to decide my opinions for me and fight like children, there’s no reason for me to even be in this debate.”

Logan kept his pointed stare even as he sunk out and left the sides to argue amongst themselves. 

“Look at what you did!” Virgil whirled to Deceit, arms waving around.

“What I did?” Deceit placed a hand over his chest. “It was a team effort, don’t give me all me credit.”

“I see how coming from me this is awkward,” Roman interjected, “but can we just... not argue?”

“NO!” the two sides screamed together.

“Okay then,” Roman said, “I see my input is completely useless here. Toodaloo my friends.”

Roman sunk out with hurt apparent on his face.

Patton doubted that Virgil and Deceit even noticed.

Thomas was looking increasingly distressed as more and more of his personality left the room. He was trapped between two sides of himself, stuck until they sorted their issues out and gave him some resolution. Yet it didn’t look like he’d be getting one any time soon.

“Hey kiddo,” Patton said to Thomas, “I’m gonna try my best to sort this out, okay?”

“Thanks Patton,” Thomas looked grateful, “but I don’t think there’s much you can do.”

That wasn’t exactly news to him. His input wasn’t wanted very often and even then he was usually less than helpful. He tried though. In the end that was what mattered. That he placed his ideas on the table. Sure, it was usually shoved off said table and only cleaned up later when everyone else was done exhausting their own thoughts, but that was okay. It was okay.

Totally okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I continue to make Patton suffer? I know he's the omniscient limited point of view and naturally I want to write about his inner emotions, but this is supposed to be about Logan too dammit! Oh well, at least it leads up nicely to the finale.


	6. The Vine

“I’m so glad that week is over,” Roman flopped down onto the couch. “What a nightmare.”

“Tell me about it,” Virgil sat down on the arm of the chair, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kill someone or be killed more than in those seven days.”

“Thankfully,” Logan said, bringing his head out of his book, “our problems have come to a satisfying conclusion. Our work schedule is back in effect, our quarrel with Deceit solved, Thomas’s friends and family were very understanding, the musical director and cast were just as empathetic and we have a movie marathon with Joan and Talyn to look forward to.”

“Yeah...” Patton munched on a cookie. “Everything’s back to normal.”

It was true. After the fight with Deceit, they all seemed to find some middle ground to sort out a few lingering problems. Roman had reluctantly admitted to feeling useless in conversation and even left out at times, Logan shared the sentiment completely, Virgil and Deceit had worked out a minuscule amount of their undying tension and Patton… once again Patton hadn’t really worked out anything.

“Normal is great,” Virgil said. “It’s predictable, routine and inside my comfort zone.”

“You don’t really have a comfort ‘zone’,” Roman said. “It’s more like a tiny circle draw into concrete.”

“And that’s the way I like it,” Virgil said.

“Uh huh, uh huh,” Patton mumbled to the tune of ‘That’s the way’.

“Well, I for one am satisfied with our conclusions, although we all know another complication is inevitable,” Logan adjusted his glasses and cracked open a book. 

“I think that maybe,” Patton said, pausing in surprise when everyone looked to him, “uh...”

“Yes, Patton, what is it?” Logan asked.

“Oh uh, it’s not all that important, forget I said anything kiddos.”

“As none of us have short term memory loss, I doubt that is an option,” Logan remarked.

Patton didn't want to ruin the other side's day with his own apprehension. They were happy with the way the week ended and Patton didn't want to rain on their parade. Then again, if he got his point across it might lead to solve a few problems.

“Okay, here it goes,” Patton winced in anticipation. “I think we should have a talk about how we handle... things... like this.”

The three other sides in the room looked confused.

“I mean,” Patton back tracked as he lost confidence. “We did it, and I’m really proud of us, but I don’t think we all handled it in the best of ways.”

“I mean yeah,” Virgil said, “but we never have, so what’s the deal this time?”

“I thought we did better than usual,” Roman muttered.

“I hate to say it, but I agree with Roman,” Logan said. “I alone made considerable progress with my own… feelings,” he shuddered at the word slightly, “not to mention Roman’s. Even Virgil and Deceit reached a frail understanding. In all honesty I do believe that we are on the correct path to more healthy and sustainable coping methods and problem resolution.”

“That’s all super true!” Patton exclaimed. “And I’m so, so proud, but it really got me thinking. We should probably spend a little time actively working this all out, don’t you think?”

There was a short silence.

“That’ll take a lot of time and stuff, Pat,” Virgil said, “it’s more of a personal thing than a group thing. It’s good to talk it out together, but if we just sit down and force it out without really wanting to… I don’t think we’ll get anywhere.”

Roman and Logan nodded in agreement.

“Oh, well,” Patton laughed awkwardly, “that’s that then. Thanks for hearing me out.”

Patton grabbed his plate of cookie crumbs and left for the kitchen. 

What a stupid idea that was. If he wanted something he should have just said it out loud instead of hiding his intentions. Did he really think that leading them all into some truth talk about how they all felt would make it easier for him to stop hiding his feelings? Would make him feel less guilty for having unideal emotions? How stupid. Everyone else had bigger problems than him, he was selfish to even think of unloading all his own.

He heard whispering in the living room as he washed his dishes. He hoped they weren’t talking about his less than graceful exit.

Patton washed the same spot on the plate about six times before he was startled by someone clearing their throat behind him.

“Ah shi-“ Patton stopped his swear half way through as he dropped the plate, “-ver me timbers Logan, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“My apologies, it wasn’t my intent to startle you,” Logan said.

“Well, what brings you here? Want to help out with the dishes?” 

“It seems you’ve finished them all Patton.”

“Oh...” Patton turned to see Logan was right. “I did.”

It was getting harder to keep his voice light and carefree. He knew that when he started to tire of his pretending that everything about him became forced. The tension in his shoulders, the force behind his smile and the edge his tone took all added up to it. Logan was a smart guy, surely after their heart to heart in Thomas' video 'Moving On' it had become easier for Logan to pick apart his mannerisms if he looked hard enough.

Patton hoped he wasn't looking hard enough.

“I’m here to, well, ask how you’re doing?” Logan said.

He had that look on his face. The one where you could so clearly see his concern and worry, but also the hesitance and unfamiliarity he had in showing it. Patton didn’t want to make Logan feel bad, or any of the others for that matter. He could work through everything himself. He didn’t need help.

“Well I’m doing just fine,” Patton said, the words tasting like tar and getting stuck like it too.

Deceit slid his head around the corner and gave Patton a judging look from behind Logan.

Well shit.

“I lied,” Patton corrected, slipping into a familiar tune, “I’m dying inside.”

Deceit gave him a thumbs up.

Logan’s concerned stare weighed a thousand tonnes as Patton failed to keep an ironic smile on his face. 

“Good choice in vine,” Logan said, laying a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “but better choice in telling me. We all care about you Patton, you’re allowed to tell us your feelings, in anyway which suits you.”

Patton couldn't find any words to tell Logan how much this meant to him. 

So he just let out a watery chuckle and a weak, "Thanks Lo."

And that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! Come a conclusion! Ended! I really, sincerely hope you enjoyed this little 5 + 1 things. If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts, I'd love to hear from you!


	7. Bonus: absolute anarchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you thought you'd seen the last of me, right? Well apparently not, because by some miracle this story now has over 100 kudos! 
> 
> What?! 
> 
> That is insane guys, and I owe it all to you! To everyone who commented, bookmarked, read and of course left their kudos, thank you so so much! In honour of that, I thought it would be nice to add a bonus chapter! This isn't really apart of the whole 5+1, more of a bloopers or after credits scene if you will. It's not to be taken that seriously, and if you like stupid memes this one's for you!
> 
> Thank you!

Memes, at some stage, became a thing.

Something that would pop up once in a while and just happen. Someone would say something, someone would respond in kind and soon enough it was over and back to the normal english language. It was a little obscure at times, but when you had nothing else to get your point across, memes worked for the sides.

Like now.

Virgil groaned and flopped onto the sofa, “I feel ugh.”

This was not an uncommon occurrence.

“On a scale of ‘fuck ya chicken strips’ to ‘I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger’ how bad is it?” Logan replied conversationally.

Roman, who was previously engrossed in the movie he was watching with Logan and Patton, turned his head and stopped the movie.

“More like, ‘get on top of the fridge’ at the moment,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded solemnly, “It really be like that sometimes.”

“Wow, mood,” Roman said. “Today has been frustrating.”

“It is Wednesday my dudes,” Patton supplied.

“Indeed,” Logan pushed his glasses up and unpaused the movie as Virgil and Roman screamed the end of the vine.

——

Virgil was minding his own business. He really was! He was just crouching on the counter like a feral at two in the morning drinking hot chocolate. Not even bothering anyone. It was of no concern to anyone else what he was doing.

Except Logan apparently.

Now, don’t get him wrong, Virgil found Logan’s memes hilarious. The sheer contrast of such a stone-faced man using them was enough to have him wiping away tears. However, there were some memes that Virgil would not allow.

Not on his christian minecraft server.

Okay, no, never mind, that was a bad one.

“Virgil,” Logan said, appearing in the kitchen entrance.

Virgil narrowed his eyes, “Logan.”

“You are not supposed to be awake at this time,” the other side stated.

“So what if I am,” Virgil challenged.

One could practically hear the texan gunslinger music in the background and see a tumbleweed blow by in the wind.

“Although we are figments of Thomas’ personality, us sleeping is beneficial for Thomas,” Logan said, “and thus I would implore you to go to bed… 

"Or else.”

“Make me,” the anxious side said.

“I’m sorry Virgil, but you give me no choice,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses like an anime villain.

Virgil’s eyes widened as he realised what was going to happen.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he hissed.

“Oh I would,” Logan said, face made of rock.

Virgil said nothing, continuing the silent battle for dominance.

“Then perish,” the logical man said.

Then he dabbed.

“NO!” Virgil rocketed off the counter and vaulted over the kitchen island and into the living room.

Logan turned and dabbed again.

“STOP!” Virgil cried in dismay. “I’M LEAVING!”

“To bed, heathen,” Logan commanded, T-posing to stop Virgil from escaping.

“No more dead memes! I’m going to bed, I swear!” Virgil said in surrender and quickly sunk out into his room.

Logan usually used his memes for good, but there was power he wielded that terrified Virgil to his core.

——-

“Logan, something marvellous has happened!” Roman said, bursting into the mind palace living room.

His excitement knew no bounds! He was a creative genius, a prodigy of poetry, a revolutionary of rhymes! He knew exactly the verse to finish off that song Joan was struggling with.

No matter that he had spent the better portion of a solid 24 hours awake pouring over it without rest, because sleep was for the weak and Roman was a Prince! A very princely prince who saved Thomas’ friend Joan from the clutches of artist block that so often plagued him himself. 

Mostly in the form of a bear trap that wouldn’t let go of his foot unless he sucked up his pride and asked Logan for help, but that was also nothing to worry about!

Logan turned his full attention to the creative facet, “What is it?”

All of Roman’s energy sang at the acknowledgement the other side gave him. It felt so good to blurt out his passions and right now he was passionate about one of his greatest triumphs!

“So, I was typing away in my room, agonising over Joan’s lyrics and I came up with the perfect end!”

Roman’s face was practically alight with joy and promise. Logan longed for the book he was reading (they were right about to solve the murder!), but that look made him cave.

“Yass bitch,” Logan congratulated, opening space for Roman to sit and rant on the sofa.

Roman grinned, “Okay so it goes something like…”

——

“I have had a horrible day!” Patton exclaimed cheerfully. 

Unnoticed from the sofa in the living room, Logan watched, horrified, as Patton prattled on brightly about the terrible day he had, not realising he wasn’t alone. It was startling to see the moral side list off his inner-most thoughts in such a joyful tone. From confessing to accidentally misplacing Virgil’s card, to expressing his guilt at being annoyed by Roman’s loud singing, Patton talked to himself like a therapist, blissfully unaware of Logan sitting close by.

“So then I thought,” Patton said to himself, stealing the cookie jar from the pantry, “‘why don’t I just act dumb, that usually seems to work’, but lying is mean, y’know? I just wanna be nice! Like Keanu Reeves or something!”

Patton shoved a cookie in his mouth sorrowfully, “Wha canth I beh like kewanu?!”

Logan cleared his throat before Patton could go on. The moral side startled and dropped the jar, barely catching it before it smashed on the ground.

“Logan!” Patton chuckled nervously. “How long have you been… just sitting there?”

“The whole time.”

Patton cringed in embarrassment, “Sorry you had to hear all that. I didn’t realise you were there.”

“Clearly,” Logan placed down his book. 

“It’s been a frustrating day,” Patton confessed, grabbing a second cookie, “I just wanted to complain and I thought everyone was busy.”

“I’m not busy. You can complain to me if you’d like,” Logan shifted his body on the seat to invite another party, “I’m in the mood for some piping-hot tea.”

A few minutes later the two were wrapped in a blanket and sipping tea while talking. It was honestly a bit more literal than Logan expected, but he wasn’t complaining.

——

“Whoever ate my last cookie, your mum’s a hoe!” Patton shouted, tipping the empty jar upside down.

“In this world it’s yeet or be yeeted, bitch!” Virgil shoved the last cookie in his mouth and started running away like his ass was on fire.

“Get back here!” Patton chased after him.

“You are my dad, you’re dad, boogie woogie boogie!” Roman sang at the top go his lungs as he watched them.

“Mood,” Logan said as Patton tripped and fell, barely saving his face from meeting the floor.

“Oof,” the moral side said, laying on the floor.

“Boi!” Virgil shouted, seconds from laughing hard enough to spit the cookie out.

Roman fortnite danced to increase the chaos. When Virgil noticed, he held up a cross to try beat away the demonic energy Creativity was exuding, accompanied by a shrill and double-voiced "NO!"

As the sides slowly destroyed themselves and Thomas tried to stop referencing memes in real life (with no avail, much to Joan’s delight), a snake appeared to watch the show.

“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Deceit commented from the shadow of a corner. 

Logan pulled Patton down from an arm rest and subsequently got tangled in limbs as he fell on top of him.

“Oh well…” the snake said almost fondly, “I guess it could be worse.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! If you liked this don't be afraid to give a kudos or leave a comment! I really appreciate feedback and would love some pointers on how to improve or just confirmation that you enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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